her fairytale

2011-12-10T22:07:00.002+08:00

Left with slightly more than 2 months before I will be gone.

Cant quit asking myself whether the decision I've made is the right one.

Will it be the right move or will I regret it later, I myself dont know for one.
Its too late to change anything now, will just do my best and make sure I have the time of my life there!

After all these years, certain things are still best left to blogging!

2011-06-07T19:04:00.003+08:00

I hate people who dont practise what they preach.

But I shall not aim to be like those people.

Keep my cool and I'll achieve inner peace haha.

2011-05-24T16:31:00.000+08:00

好人真的没好报

2011-05-23T14:02:00.003+08:00

Going through the darkest and worst period of my life right now, just how much more must i hold on.

Disheartened. I protected who i thought were my friends but they ended up using that very same reason to turn the tables on me. Wtf, someone tell me what are friends now? I dont understand that term anymore.

Please let me leave sg for the next 4 years, I need a change of environment.

2011-05-20T01:07:00.002+08:00

I'm back, stronger than ever.

It took just a moment of truth for me to see, simply put, who's good and who's bad.

I feel so sorry for myself, for not being able to flare up when im supposed to. My sis can even do that better than me. I wonder how things would be like if I had just chosen to flare up the first time I got pushed.

I guess sometimes it takes extreme changes to see extreme measures.

Nevertheless, thanks for all the memories. Its time to move on.

These song lyrics resonate so much with me right now.
Where did i go wrong, i lost a friend.
Somewhere along in this bitterness.

2010-09-17T18:20:00.002+08:00

Dear Mable Ang,

You're the reason why im here in the midst of prelims.
You probably wont see this now cause all the comments is enough to keep you busy on facebook.
But i just wanna say, i miss you!
Its only the 3rd day out of 333.33333333 days?

Haha i just realised 7 hrs difference is really hugeee. I'll be in sch studying while you're slping and when im slping, you're having dinner.
Zzzz how to complain to you if im jaded or disillusioned??!
The first 3 prelim papers were horrible!
I've been wanting to tell you that but its weird to tell you such stuffs on fb.

Aish. I wish you were still here :(

Anyhow, take care, dont fall sick and have fun!
Its a once in a lifetime experience =)

P.S I hope you see this soon (at least before prelims are over lol)
Shucks, this sounds like im writing a letter to you through my blog -.-

2010-06-23T19:51:00.002+08:00

Hope is a beautiful thing. It's a noun, but it can also be a verb. So you dont only do it, you belive in it too. -M

True yet not so true.

不要害怕失败会受伤
努力啊乘着梦想往前别说累
总有人在你身边为你加油啊
逆着风也要飞翔
很辛苦也要坚强
带着梦想去飞翔
努力啊乘着梦想往前别怕黑
总有人在你身边为你祝福啊
逆着风也要盼望
很受伤也要勇敢飞翔
也许会失望
也许很受伤
跌跌撞撞失去方向
但是青春
应该勇敢闯一闯
去飞翔
去寻找真理想

(:

A super meaningful song. Buddy, go see it! The song's name is 逆风飞翔 by 萧煌奇.

2010-05-26T20:27:00.002+08:00

Officially 18th.

Somehow, what was supposed to be the first major landmark in my life didnt turn out so right.

But at the same time, it was a brand new experience this year.

Though you wont get to see this now, thank you very much mabel for everything!
Im really glad i got to know you (:

Mm on a last not, been pondering over what i heard..

Why is it that the more friends you have, the more empty you feel?

2010-05-20T22:55:00.002+08:00

May 20th.
5 days away from another milestone in my life.
Somehow, I dont wanna grow up as yet.
I wanna press the pause button and have us all freeze right at this moment, caught in between the stages of adolescence & adulthood.
It's ironic how the thought of wanting to grow older just doesn't seem that appealing after all.

A few months more to go before judgement day.
What is gonna come out of it, i dont know.
All im sure of is that i gotta start bucking up if i wanna be able to answer to myself at the end of the day.

I've been feeling so lost these days.
I used to be sure of what i want.
But now whenever someone asks me what do i wanna do in future, i find myself being unable to give an answer.
Lol.
So i sat myself down and asked myself what is it that i really want.
I realised its ain't cause i dont know what i want, but i dont know if i can ever achieve it.
Sigh.
This sucks more than not knowing what i want.

Boo. Life's as such.

2009-11-07T16:26:00.003+08:00

woah, this blog is dead.

Time flies,
People change,
Our environment changes,
As a result,
relationships change as well.
For the better or worse,
Its all part of life.

Haha.

Saw this nice quote somewhere, '' Will you look back on life and say 'I wish i had' or 'I'm glad i did' ''

Im sure of what i wanna be.

2009-07-17T00:23:00.002+08:00

Its been so long. This blog seems abit useless. Ha.

Im so glad things are finally back to how it used to be. Its been bugging me so badly during the hols but now its back to happy faces (:

Got screwed upside down by CTs. Shall spend more time to buy a screw driver and unscrew myself. Slow and easy.

How many times can I break till I shatter?
Over the line can't define what I'm after
I always turn the car around
Give me a break let me make my own pattern
All that it takes is some time but I'm shattered
I always turn the car around

..shall turn the car around!

2009-06-20T00:07:00.003+08:00

See that smiley?
Its not evident on our faces now.
But fret not,
cause someday,
the smiley on that cake will become ours.

Haha lets go back there soon yup?
One trip, one flavour.
But more than just flavours in time to come.
Timeless memories are here to stay.

Six.
Approximately 6 more weeks to 2 years.
Ha!
I bet you didnt think of this link.
We've come far.
Lets hold on;
and prove that,
we are..
built to last.
:D

2009-06-12T02:55:00.002+08:00

Do i deserve this?

This is too harsh.

I'm buckling under the pressure.

Gotta be a fighting SOULdier.

Gotta find my soul back.

Gotta get my head back on track.

But now, its time for me to let go.

Wont be updating soon,

till i get this and myself sorted out.

2009-06-03T22:25:00.002+08:00

Up till now,
i still have no idea what i'm holding on to.
I get this gut feeling its just the memories;
memories that we sacrificed much to call our own.

But as i got back my phone,
with all the messages gone.
It struck me suddenly,
its no longer lively,
no longer the way it used to be.

I asked myself why,
but i had no answer.

Am i really just holding on for the sake of holding on,
or there still is something worth for me to hold on to.
I don't know,
i'm confused.

Maybe i'm just plain committed,
but there's nothing wrong.
The audacity of hope,
i hope its not wrong of me to hope.

I'm not giving up just yet,
its far too early.
Geminis are a resolute lot,
and i'm gonna prove that right.

That feels good. On my way to recovery!

2009-05-26T21:57:00.002+08:00

Ankle's screwed,
life's screwed,
i'm screwed.

Cant imagine a life without ball games anymore.
I cant see myself playing actively anymore,
hopping and jumping about,
not having fun anymore.

What else can i do but hope.

I wanna regain the use of my legs.
I wanna run around even if it means 2.4km.
I wanna be who i am before all this shit.

2009-05-14T22:47:00.002+08:00

Still very tired! ._.

Haven't been blogging something proper due to lack of time.

Its paradoxical that the most important thing seems to be time, when people invent technologies to save time and effort.

Its not fair. I studied hard, really hard but yet i'm still gonna flop math test ._. freakkkkkk!

Not knowing is bad enough,
but not trying to find out is worse.

2009-05-05T23:55:00.001+08:00

TIRED ._.

2009-04-27T23:45:00.003+08:00

The Man Who Can't Be Moved lyrics

Going Back to the corner where I first saw you,
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag I'm not gonna move
Got some words on cardboard got your picture in my hand,
saying, "if you see this girl can you tell her where I am"

Some try to hand me money,
they don't understand
I'm not broke
I'm just a broken hearted man
I know it makes no sense but what else can I do
How can I move on when I'm still in love with you

Cause If one day you wake up and find your missing me
and your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet
And you'll see me waiting for you on our corner of the street

So I'm not moving,
I'm not moving

Policeman says, "son you can't stay here"
I said, "there's someone I'm waiting for If it's a day, a month, a year"
Gotta stand my ground even if it rains or snows
If she changes her mind this is the first place she will go

Cause If one day you wake up and find your missing me
and your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet
And you'll see me waiting for you on our corner of the street

So I'm not moving,
I'm not moving,
I'm not moving,
I'm not moving

People talk about the guy that's waiting on a girl
There are no holes in his shoes but a big hole in his world
Maybe i'll get famous as the man who can't be moved
Maybe you wont mean to but you'll see me on the news
And you'll come running to the corner
cause you'll know it's just for you

Im the man who can't be moved

Chorus 2x

Going Back to the corner where I first saw you
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag I'm not gonna move

P.S. I dont know if you will read this anytime soon but i'm not gonna move as well. One day, i'll move you like how i used to. One day, we'll be back to how we used to be. I know we will. (:

2009-04-24T00:48:00.002+08:00

Its been so long;

have i stepped into unknown territory this time?

Tell me,

what am i supposed to do?

To turn time,

back to when i was just a normal kid,

back to when things were so fine for us.

Time heals all wounds, i hope that holds.

One last try,

grant me this.

2009-04-17T18:44:00.003+08:00

I'm sorry if the previous blog post sounded sarcastic, cause i didn't mean it to turn out that way.

Like i said before, blogging is just an outlet for me to rant.

Cause at the end of the day, i don't mean most of the things i say.

I hope you'll give me a chance to explain cause i dont wish for things to turn out this way.

I believe our fs is strong enough to withstand this, as it has always been.

Don't say and mean things that will ruin it cause i think thats not what both of us want anyway.

Today officially marks the 6th day you've 'left' (you know what i mean)

I hope thats the longest it gets.

With all my heart,

I'm sorry.

2009-04-12T23:56:00.002+08:00

I no longer know what to say when i don't feel your presence in my life.

All that talk about initiative, who are you to tell me that.

Maybe i'm giving more than you can receive.

When best isn't really the best, the good seems better than the best.

I don't understand your perception of 'best'.

Man, this is getting crappy.

Don't have regrets one day when you find you've lost a best.

Heh, i make a good poet.
(:

2009-03-26T00:38:00.001+08:00

24th march- Had the best chilling session since eons ago ._. Haha but it was really good to just chuck all my work and tasks on hand at one side to enjoy myself totally for that short 4 hours. It was worth it, totally worth it (:

Person C: Memories are priceless. Thats why i wanna give you the best memory as your birthday present this year (:
E Person: Yup..memories are priceless. But ain't it sad to be that way? Cause when our memory fails us, no matter how much we are willing to fork out to pay for it, it will not be enough cause it is priceless.

Heh, that got me thinking cause i've never thought of memories in such a way before. But hey its true, so cherish these memories while they last. And if there really is a day you start forgetting all those times, i promise i'll pass you that one and only book in this whole whole and read every single sentence out for you though i'll be very shy =X

Had dinner at Al Forno italian restaurant, hmm i'm not sure if thats the correct name =/ Next was desert, heh told you the ice-cream was nice! xD Hope you like that combination and that the flavours clicked well, just like us! xD You're oreo cookies- black outside and white inside. Eeew you're a zebra in disguise! Omg we are greedy people, we actually bought 4 ice-creams -_________-

And dont be so nice la. Cause most of the times, its always the nice people that gets taken advantage of. Must be more firm, heh and i think being mean suits you better =p

All that talk about not bothering anymore is crap, trust me to know that i would never give up even if i hadnt told you about it yesterday. I know a diamond when i see one, and nobody throws diamonds away (:

The special diamond (:

Ahh, i think we both looked tired in this picture. Haha time to catch up on more sleep man! Don't start off too fast, cause there would not be any room for acceleration later on. Remember: slow and easy wins the race! Don't ever overwork yourself okay? Set aside time for play as well cause our limits are like rubber bands..never overstrectched them or it might just SNAP! =p

2009-03-21T22:40:00.003+08:00

I survived TERM 1 and everything else that has gotta do with school! =D
*throws confetti around*
Yayy Term 2 is coming in just 2 days time, i'm so excited! Not. ._.

I have so much on my mind, but i guess words can't describe whats running through my mind now. I think i'm someone who need assurances from time to time, esp when what i fear losing is of much importance to me. Thats so generic huh, duh who isn't afraid? =.=

Its only logical and acceptable to set high expectations for someone thats dear to you or someone whom you know can definitely surpass those expectations. But what happens when that someone doesn't like these expectations? What happens when you no longer receive assurances from that someone? What does it mean and what can one expect?

Candice's philosophy:
When life throws you lemons, make fresh, tasty lemonade out of it.
When life throws more lemons, keep making more lemonade and quench your thirst.
In fact, request for more lemons as you can save more $$ esp during this economic crisis xD
Soon, life gets tired of throwing lemons at you cause it's making a loss >.<
And ta-da no more lemons!! (:

2009-03-12T18:16:00.000+08:00

Sometimes i wonder,
why do i i still care so much.
Have i not been waiting long enough?
Or will there be more upsetting stuffs that will happen before i finally get to see what i've been wanting to.
Why is it that i'm always promising others but i don't see them reciprocating? Lol what does it mean to feel an empty space in front of you when a box was supposed to be there?
Its not for my own good, by rights i have no need to get angry but i just can't help it.
I just want to see you going further in life, without anything holding you back.
It's time you spread your wings and soar.
It's time i feel a box eh?

On a side note, had to reach school at 8am to film house comm video today. Zzzz 8am, there went my much-needed sleep =/ But it was really fun, house comm is cool! We had so much fun playing at the zhen xin yuan and the filming. Heh house comm is so gonna rock the house down! =D

2009-03-08T12:04:00.008+08:00

Kirin is Love!

Had house comm meeting yesterday. It was super cool and fun! Go go kirin! (: I think we're a good mix of people!

Did i say my baby cousin is so freaking cute?

Ta-da! Another cuter one! Haha she's frowning cause i just stole the limelight away from her =p

Senior high is seriously mentally draining. Can't wait for march holidays to come! The best evidence to prove my point!

Stage 1: Joanne trying her best to stay awake.

Stage 2: Joanne slipping into dreamland.

Stage 3: Joanne is 'dead'!

Thats all folks! xD

2009-03-01T00:51:00.002+08:00

Its been so long since i last logged into blogger and penned my thoughts down. So many things on my mind, limited time. Haiz why can't there be unlimited resources >.<

I've just proven that dreams can come true so long as we are willing to work hard enough for it. Nothing comes falling from the sky, thats for sure. No matter how ridiculous our dreams can get, they will start to seem more realistic and achievable the moment we set our hearts on pursuing it. If we don't start believing our dreams, who else would believe that we can make it? The audacity of hope? I would say the audacity of both hope and dreams, they make a perfect combination (:

I've gotten what i want.
I've worked hard for it,
but its time to work even harder now.
Got to stop slacking and start chionging! xD

2009-02-03T10:21:00.000+08:00

Let me recover soon, please?
this means alot to me.

2009-01-29T23:36:00.004+08:00

woohoo vote for CARS! Haha it was so malu to see my face hanging on the wall plus life size somemore. LOL but i thought the huge poster was nice. I can't believe my butt actually has muscles aches from sitting on the floor for too long -.- So to speak, i should seat on the floor for like hours without doing anything and i'll have firmer butts! xD

Senior high is tiring, its just the 2nd week of school but i'm already intimidated by whats in store for me these 2 years. But still, i think its worth all the time and effort cause its really fun and cool to be in senior high. Its a totally different and new experience from junior high.

We'll make it the drive of your life.

2009-01-08T00:45:00.001+08:00

I've been on hiatus for just too long. Lol. Life has been ordinary, albeit with some good stuffs coming along to lighten the mood of the new year. 2009 doesn't seem like its better than 2008 yet, or maybe its just too early to tell. It didn't even start off on the right foot to begin with. Haha huga outing yesterday- 06012009 was good, year 4 orientation'09 was good, the afternoon spent with audrey playing xbox was good, homecoming with chicsbff was good as well, why then are so many good things not accountable for that one bad thing.

You were right after all. I'm indeed tired. I feel like giving up, how long more must i continue to support this. " It takes 2 hands to clap." Don't blame others for what has been lost in the course of pursuing things we want. Its never too late to have regrets so long as we put in effort to make amends before things get out of hand.

I should be contented, should long have been. We only learn how to cherish things after we lose them. How true and how ironic it is cause i'm always telling people that.

I realised that there's not much point in setting resolutions and goals each year cause i end up not giving a damn to them at all. Hahahaha but still, i'm not gonna be greedy..3 resolutions will be just right for me this year!
1) Study hard, get into medicine course (Which i think is highly impossible) -__________-
2) Be contented..grow spiritually in terms of character developement and grow stronger! haha =p
3) Make smart decisions, do what i really want!

Can i have a fourth one?.......
4) Lose weight!!!!!! XD

5C42 seems like a real nice class and i guess i'm lucky to be in there. Haha almost everyone i know seems to be in oryx, thats super cool lah! Go oryx! xD I have a feeling that 2009 and 2010 are going to be 2 fun years that i'm going to enjoy.

Work's sian most of the time but there are some funny occasions as well. Lol!
Me: Hi good morning. May i speak to ________ ( mr X)
Mr X: HELLO
Me: (Thought he didnt hear what i just said so i repeated myself again >.< )
Me: Hi good morning. May i speak to ________ ( mr X)
Mr X: HELLO HELLO
Me: (Thought he didnt hear what i just said so i repeated myself again >.< )
Me: Hi good morning. May i speak to ________ ( mr X)
Mr X: HELLO HELLO HELLO
Me: argh whatever la. xD
LOL is it that hard to say 'Mr X speaking' -.-

Another funny scenario...
Me: Just to check with you _________ (Mr Y), which bank do you save with?
Mr Y: Post office Me: o.O post office?
Mr Y: yeah, post office
Me: okkkay..
Me: So..how much do you save with post office every month on the average? >.<

And today there was this girl who came for job interview. The office door is kinda screwed up so it knocked her, and then the funniest thing was she immediately turned back and apologised to the door. o.O It was extremely classic..should have videoed it and sent to America's Funniest Video. LOL!!

Save you by simple plan
Take a breath I pull myself together
Just another step until I reach the door
You'll never know the way it tears me up inside to see you

Ooh Ooh
I wish that I could tell you something
Ooh Ooh
To take it all away

Sometimes I wish I could save you
And there's so many things that I want you to know
I won't give up til it's over
If it takes you forever I want you to know

When I hear your voice it's drowning in the whispers
You're just skin and bones
There's nothing left to take and no matter what I do
I can't make you feel better

Ooh Ooh
If only I could find the answer
Ooh Ooh
To help me understand

Sometimes I wish I could save you
And there's so many things that I want you to know
I won't give up til it's over
If it takes you forever I want you to know that

If you fall, stumble down
I'll pick you up off the ground
If you lose faith in you
I'll give you strength to pull through
Tell me you won't give up
Cause I'll be waiting if you fall you know
I'll be there for you

Ooh Ooh
If only I could find the answer
Ooh Ooh
To take it all away

Sometimes I wish I could save you
And there's so many things that I want you to know
I won't give up til it's over
If it takes you forever I want you to know

I wish I could save you
I want you to know
I wish I could save you

This feeling of being neither here nor there sucks.

2008-12-19T23:00:00.002+08:00

Shall make an exception by blogging about HUGA CHALET cause its simply a waste to let it go unmentioned. Haha had work in the morning..i have only one word to describe work. ‘Sian’. Imagine calling 250 people a day and repeating the same script 250 times in just 4 hours -.- Okay maybe I shouldn’t be complaining since I get to sit in a comfortable chair in an air-con room >.< Rushed down to huga chalet and bbq straight after work. BBQ was cool as usual. Huga peeps are cool xD As usual, we took damn long to set up a fire. Hehe can’t blame us cause we’re just too cool (: I got down to business as usual, busy bbq-ing marshmallows for almost everyone that deserved it *AHEM* Haha~ I’m the queen of marshmallows. LOL! xD

Cleared up the area before heading back to costa sands chalet. Amanda and roseline came to kaypoh kaypoh. LOL >.<>.<

Rented DVDs: One missed call and alone. LOL I was such a scaredy cat that I hid under the blanket the whole 3 plus hours that both movies were being screened -.- Alone is really scary cause joy was screaming non-stop. AHAHAH paiseh joy, but you’re still braver than me! =) Went for breakfast at like 7.15am before sending joy and clari off for work. LOL we were so shagged that all of us fell asleep once we returned to the chalet. And it was super irritating cause someone’s phone started ringing and nobody actually moved or opened their eyes. Haha its not good being a light sleeper..In the end, I had to get up, find the phone before switching off the alarm -________________-

We woke up like almost 2 hours later to pack up the chalet and book out. Me, xizi, szu yee and chao yuan dragged ourselves to white sands before happily finding a seat at Macdonalds and hogging their seats without buying anything for almost 3 hours xD It was really damn nice to spend time with huga people since we hardly hang around together in school. But somehow, that feeling of just hanging out with huga people doing crazy things is really comfortable, warm and nice (: Must continue to have a huga chalet once every year till we all die okay! =) Oops, nah we will live till a ripe old age. And maybe when we are all 70 years old, we can see who's already in an old folks home. HAHAHA!

I know this seems super retarded since the std 1s are already in camp and should be preparing for lights off right now. But i know that they will definitely pass std 1 camp as one whole squad (:

I know work is really tough, tiring and stressful these days. Dont worry cause i'm not expecting much anyway now. Just take good care of youself and enjoy what you're doing cause it wont seem like work if thats what you like doing =D

2008-12-05T11:36:00.001+08:00

I can finally blog again cause i've managed to place my so called 'apple itouch' at the side bar of my blog, but its under the credits. So please click on 'credits' if you are interested in listening to the songs (:

Yesterday was first day of work at fish n co. And what the chopsticks, its was freaking tiring!!! I swear its even worse than going for snco/jnco -.- There was a sec 3 girl who was from greenview secondary school, and it turned out that she was in sj too! Haha but she's a ponner..and so i encouraged her to go for her corp's camp to get some cca points to help her in her 'o-levels' next year ^^

Now i know earning money and working is no easy job, but its worse when the job you're holding is in the FnB industry >.< I stood for like 6 hours non stop, hehe comparable to flag day every year XD And its pathetic la, i can only have my dinner when there are fewer customers and that means if there are many customers streaming in and out of the shop then my dinner will be at 9 plus? -.- And i have to wolf down my dinner in like half an hour? Its terrible. It was just so tiring that i lost the sensations in my legs when i bent down to pick something up. I'm not going to subject myself to such mental and physical torture man, its only 5 bucks per hour. Totally not worth it at the expense of my health. Imagine breathing in oil droplets and standing till your varicose veins pop out -____________________- I stink of oil and i feel so oily at the end of the day, its as though i was one of the fried fish n chip being served. Ewwwwwww. Okay, enough of my rants..phew i feel better now (:

I somehow cant find the motivation to blog anymore these days, cause you were my motivation for doing so.

Maybe i just dont know you well enought to know whats on your mind.
Maybe i ought to back off like what you wanted me to do.
Maybe i'm just not your cup of tea for friends.
Maybe you should let me know what you're thinking at all.

Life's freaking screwed up right now and i have no idea how to get it back on track. I go to sleep with heartache and headache everynight. Damn maybe there's a blood clot pressing on my nerves right now. Haha and maybe you'll be happy to know that i'm thinking so much cause of you.

I wont be blogging for quite some time till there's a solution to all these crap. And i hope i wont be the only one coming up with the solutions. You can choose to sit back and do nothing but dont regret, cause at times..失去的不能从来.

cool!

2008-11-28T13:37:00.001+08:00

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

2008-11-28T12:30:00.002+08:00

A QUICK LAUGH FOR 5 MINS

> Teacher: History is a very interesting subject. It tells you about what had happened in the past.
> Student: Please teacher, I don't think I want to study history.
> Teacher: Why?
> Student: There is no future in it.

> Teacher : Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father still have?
> Ted : $10.
> Teacher : You don't know maths.
> Ted : You don't know my father!

> Mother : David, come here.
> David : Yes, mum?
> Mother : You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.
> David : But I will only get my report book tomorrow.
> Mother : I know that. But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am scolding you now.

> Father : Why did you fail your mathematics test?
> Son : On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8
> Father : So?
> Son : On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 And on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8. If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?

> Girl: Do you love me?
> Boy: Yes Dear
> Girl: Would you die for me?
> Boy: No, mine is undying love

** This is classic. LOL!
> Man: How old is your father?
> Boy: As old as me
> Man: How can that be?
> Boy: He became a father only when I was born

> Waiter: I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
> Customer: Don't tell me your problems. Give me the menu card.

> Teacher : Simon, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his?
> Simon : No, teacher, it's the same dog!

> Father : Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!
> Son : That's why I say she's no good!

> Teacher: 'Where were u born?'
> Student: 'Singapore, Sir.'
> Teacher: 'Which part?'
> Student: 'All of me, Sir.'

> A teacher was asking her class: 'What is the difference between 'unlawful' and 'illegal'?'
Only one hand shot up..
> 'Ok, answer, Joan' said the teacher.
> ''unlawful' is when u do something the law doesn't allow and 'illegal' is a sick eagle.'

> Teacher: 'How come you do not comb your hair?'
> Ah Kow: 'No comb, Sir.'
> Teacher: 'Use your dad's then.'
> Ah Kow: 'No hair, Sir.'

> A boy came home from school with his exam results.
> 'What did u get?' asked his father.
> 'My marks are under water,' said the boy.
> 'What do u mean 'under water'?'
> 'They are all below 'C' (sea) level'

Well, that's the end of the jokes. Hope you had a good laugh! =D

Its been 15 days and the number continues to increase. *sighs* Its as good as the china trip -.-

2008-11-25T15:47:00.004+08:00

Snow Patrol You Could be Happy Lyrics:
You could be happy and I won't know
But you weren't happy the day I watched you go

And all the things that I wished I had not said
Are played in loops 'till it's madness in my head

Is it too late to remind you how we were
But not our last days of silence, screaming, blur

Most of what I remember makes me sure
I should have stopped you from walking out the door

You could be happy, I hope you are
You made me happier than I'd been by far

Somehow everything I own smells of you
And for the tiniest moment it's all not true

Do the things that you always wanted to
Without me there to hold you back, don't think, just do

More than anything I want to see you girl
Take a glorious bite out of the whole world

Friends are not there just for having fun together, but also to care for each other.
As such. come what may..i'll still care and worry for you.

Even if we slowly distance apart,
even if you do not want me to be around,
even if we can't meet up that often,
even after all the quarrels and disappointment,
hey i assure you i'll still be here always.
(:

you may not believe me but time will tell.
i dont usually assure something unless i'm quite so sure i will be able to do it.
haha (:

To audrey wong:
hey thanks for being my 'painkiller' all this while. Its been a year but those late night talks seem to be only a couple of months ago >< Thanks for all your advices but i don't think i'll be able to complete whatever you wanted me too or be whoever you want me to be. I guess i still feel happiest being an earthworm xD Enjoy yourself in Dubai tmr and take care! =)

2008-11-16T23:11:00.004+08:00

PROM NIGHT'2008 [141108]

Prom was cool and fun. I guess it lived up to our expectations. Almost everyone dressed up for the ocassion and everyone really look beautiful/handsome xD We practically screamed our heads off lol as though there was some lion chasing us -.- And because of that, Kai Ming was mr sunshine and roseline was ms best dressed. Shuan was mr PROM KING lah! Haha 4H owned prom night man! =p Ahhh come to think of it, i have very few prom pictures..i need to kope from people!

MS SEOW'S WEDDING[151108]

Ms seow's wedding was SUPER NICE lah!!! Her husband did a surprise item for her and it was super touching can. Even i was moved to ALMOST tears by his 自弹自唱 performance, no wonder ms seow cried >.<>

Went out with some of 4H peeps to catch a movie at cathay cineleisure. Decided to split up since i really cant stand watching madagascar ><>

The past 2 years with 3H, 4H has been wonderful. We are a bunch of playful monkeys that know how to play hard and mug hard? I really cant imagine myself being in some class that's super quiet and guai. LOL i'm glad i got transferred to 4H, but sorry to those whol got transferred out =p

Thanks for making my upper junior high years so interesting.

Thanks for making me laugh almost everyday in class.

Thanks for all the times we pia hard for interclass soccer >.<

Thanks for all the times we laugh, cried, played, smiled, emo-ed together.
Thanks for the memories (:

Some funny things that happened recently...

Haha i saw 4 giants, serious. They were really tall, its like omg im not even anywhere near their shoulders ><

Presenting the 3 giants:

Last but not least, the 4th giant:

WAHAHA gotcha! =p

Oh and did i mention i transported this super humongous bear from china back to singapore?!?!

Don't believe me, this picture will give a clear direct comparison then xD

LOL and i like sitting next to this bear cause it makes me look smaller! =)

2008-11-13T21:58:00.018+08:00

So today was commencement ceremoney huh? Which also signals the end of our junior high years..time flies and before we all know it, we've been in dunman high for 4 years. We all came in as young childish 13 year old kids, but now we are leaving as mature or maybe just slightly mature 16 year olds teenagers. As everything else change, memories and friendships will always be constants that we'll remember for life. I hope even as time continues to tick away, the bonds we once shared in 1H, 2H, 3H and 4H will always remain (:

I recently read a book and there was a phrase that caught my attention. ''Live everyday like it is your last'' I don't want to live my life with regrets so i'm going to be as nice as i can to everyone and help anyone in need to the best of my abilities (: Everyone just needs some luck and opportunities at times. If we are able to do so, then don't hold back!

Trust me when i say i'll be happy as long as you are. I know i used to be kinda 'naughty'(even in recent weeks), but i've sorted my thoughts out and yes hopefully, you will never get to see me being mean again (: I hope you like that bread cause it didn't come easy..But nevertheless, the distance covered is worth the time and effort. SMILE! =D

Gigantic and fantastic bread from a Boon Lay bakery! =P

Who says blurry pictures can't be nice (:

LOL who looks cuter? I bet its the bread! >.<

I'm fortunate to have such a great friend like you too! (:

Not forgetting everyone in 4H and std 4'08 squad too! (:

It really really seems like i'm living a dream right now. I wonder when this perfect dream is gonna turn into a nightmare =/ Haha for all i know, maybe like what audrey mentioned..the reasons behind my current insomnia is because i can't believe life's this good and i stress unnecessarily over worrying that this is just but a dream >.<

2008-11-12T21:14:00.008+08:00

I hardly blog so frequently but i'm doing this now so you better appreciate this xD

LOL this machine is cute! At least it guarentees some form of returns.

Without my chance, we wouldn't have that one extra lucky lollipop..without your chance, we wouldn't be able to get that one extra lollipop out either =) I can apply this simple concept to any friendships out there too. Without any party putting in effort to keep a friendship going strong, its bound to crumble one day. Haha so lets keep this going yup, I'm confident it will last forever =D

Hope this cup corn brings back childhood memories for you too! (:

On a sidenote, there was this super funny conversation i had recently.

A: WL. Why are your answers forever the same one! So standard..time to change a new answer le la.

B: Haha do 10-year series change their answer? Their answers also standard one ma.

A: You think you 10-year series meh? LOL you 20-year series lah!

2008-11-11T14:10:00.004+08:00

Its a wonder how i'm actually blogging back to back. hahaha.

Seriously, its super boring to stay at home for almost the whole day. Other than stoning, i think the next thing that i'm best at doing is sleeping and using the computer -__- Okay maybe I've been spending some think to reminisce the past as well .

Guess I’ve never really blogged about SNCO in detail till date. Maybe I haven’t really told anyone this but SNCO was the turning point in my SJ life. When i thought it was the end for me in SJ, when i was in despair, SNCO came along and everything that happened after that was simply a miracle. Do i really deserve what was entrusted upon me? Cause all that i can remember was giving my all and everything just fell right back into place soon after. Probably everything happened too fast, i didn’t really have time to stop and think back either.

If not for you, i wouldn’t have tried so hard during SNCO.
If not for SNCO, i wouldn’t be who i am now.

Even as people keep telling me that the bonds forged during SNCO will fade over time, i beg to differ. Who says bonds can’t be maintained? If that’s really the case, its because we did not try hard enough. Even as i didn’t feel myself being stretched to the limit during SNCO, even as SNCO’07 was just a 4 day 3 night camp, I’ve gained so much for it. And on that note, I’ve never once regretted my decision to attend SNCO. Your presence now makes it all worthwhile (:

SNCO may not have been a very demanding camp, but we all still learnt something from it.
SNCO may not have been the most interesting camp, but at the very least it was fun.
SNCO may not have been the best camp, but it was definitely one of the best.
SNCO may have came and went, but the bonds and friendship that came with is here to stay.

Last but not least, team 4 has to be the best team ever in SNCO xD Hehe i ain't biased but its just true! I guess we're the only team with a team identity- pink eagles. LOL i know it sounds kinda weird but eagles are powerful creatures that can fly. And similarly, we'll be able to soar like eagles (:

''Pink eagles soaring high up in the sky, fearless and our limits know no bounds''

A simple photo; a thousand words.

2 simple pictures; 2 thousand words.
LOL! xD

2008-11-10T23:43:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, doing even the simplest things makes one happy. Seriously, the simplest things. Just too bad i didn't get to know you earlier XD But i guess, getting to know you is already the best thing that could ever happen to me (:

All those talk about this friendship ending is nonsense now. Judging by the look of things, its not going to end anytime soon! =D So..you've just gotta bear with my nonsense for some time more XD WAHAHA!

A feast fit only for 287s! xD

This is what you get when someone with an overloaded brain lies on you =p

We got lucky! haha mickey gets to pose with my blog before it appears on my blog now! ><

Thanks for the 'dead yet alive' toy, the baby chocolate (though i'm not a baby!), and everything else you've taught and given me (:

'Cause this is real,
and this is good.
It warms the inside just like it should,
but most of all it's built to last.

=D

2008-11-06T00:51:00.004+08:00

All this seems so surreal, as though I’ve been living a dream all this while. As I wrote the Chinese essay for ‘O’-levels higher Chinese exam today, I was overwhelmed by a sense of nostalgia. Hehe this sounds stupid but while I was writing my essay, I got reminded of my grandfather badly. Yeah, his 6th death anniversary just passed not long ago. 6 years, it’s been 6 long(or should I say short) years. I can’t help but relieve all those painful yet sweet memories.

I took my first ever neoprint with him.
I visited changi airport with him ever so often but somehow I never got sian of it.
We would always hold hands cause he has a prostatic leg.
I had my first real ambition of being a doctor because of him.
I had a really nice childhood thanks to him.

I can’t help but feel remorseful when I remembered how I last argued with him before he passed away a few weeks later. I don’t know if 6 years is really such a long time. But. I can no longer remember how his warm hands feel like. I can no longer visualize his features properly. But I’ll never forget how much love and care he showered on me. Never.

I don’t want to cherish people/ things only when it’s too late. Nobody likes having regrets in their lives.

Life is unpredictable, and that makes the future unpredictable too. Year 2008 is coming to an end soon, and another year is approaching in no time. Before we all know it, we are a year older, a year smarter because of various life experiences, a year closer to our deaths xD I can’t help but wonder how things will be like a few years down the road. Would we still be friends, or would we end up as just mere acquaintances? In just slightly more than a year, my life could change so much for the better because of one’s appearance. How would my life and your life be now had we not met right? =P

Its really amazing how fate can play such a major role in changing one’s destiny. What prompted you to make that call? And what factors allowed me to feel so at ease and comfortable around you? LOL even our dress sense could be so similar -.- Haha did we come from the same rubbish bin?!?! XD But it’s been a great one year albeit with ups and downs. Through these ups and downs, I really found the best friend I could ever have in you. No matter how many times I was childish/ impulsive/ petty, you were never pissed with me for more than 2 days? HAHA you would always forgive me readily and I guess that’s what makes this friendship so fun and just indescribable. I can’t imagine you being as stubborn as me. But hey don’t worry yup, remember what I told you at dinner ? I won’t repeat the same mistakes again cause I really can’t afford to lose a friend like you. I doubt I’ll ever find a friend who’s so similar to me anymore. So yup, while we’re still around, I’m going to make the best out of it! =D

Haha i chose the photo you look nicest in but most importantly, you look young here la!

Once in a lifetime experience yeah ^^ But i know im still younger than you! XD

2008-11-02T00:20:00.000+08:00

All they could muster was awkward silence,
And all she could muster was hurtful, disappointing words.

Another day out.
Feelings of uncertainty and doubt,
contrasting with past carefree moments.

Could it be that certain things do not have to be made complicated?
But why is everything seemingly rational and logical?

Does she know what the other she has been doing?
Will she ever know?

Why is she putting up this false front?
Why does it hurt so bad inside?
Why isn't she learning from past experiences?
When will she wake up from this nightmare?

It's been a while.
I've waited before. I'm still waiting. I will be waiting.

2008-10-29T23:44:00.002+08:00

THANKS ALOT, EP287! (:
You were a great help!
Haha is this sincere enough? xD

Sorry if i'm always so assuming..i'll really try to..eh wait wait not try to. I'll really assume lesser in future. Hope that gives you some sort of assurance right now. I know i'll never be who you want me to be, but that doesnt mean i'll stop trying. Haha. I know i really suck alot at times, but then again, i know you dont blame me xD For that, i'm really grateful for everything, seriously i mean EVERYTHING :D

2008-10-25T22:29:00.005+08:00

Had a pretty bad fall today -.-

Ouch! Was planning to lose some fats from the china trip -.- End up being not able to lose any for the next few days.. Guess its the worse fall i have had in ages -__- Lol but the pain is kind of thrilling in a way XD And no, i'm not a sadist!

It should never have been of such importance to begin with.

2008-10-23T22:00:00.000+08:00

Quotes on hope:

1) Hope is both the earliest and the most indispensable virtue inherent in the state of being alive. If life is to be sustained hope must remain, even where confidence is wounded, trust impaired.

2) Hope is like a road in the country; there was never a road, but when many people walk on it, the road comes into existence.

3) If you lose hope, somehow you lose the vitality that keeps life moving, you lose that courage to be, that quality that helps you go on in spite of it all. And so today I still have a dream. OMG 16 blog posts eh >.<

OMG 16 blog posts ><>
R

2008-10-22T22:00:00.000+08:00

Quotes on persistence:

1) Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.

2) Aerodynamically the bumblebee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn't know that so it goes on flying anyway.

3) Getting ahead in a difficult profession requires avid faith in yourself. That is why some people with mediocre talent, but with great inner drive, go much further than people with vastly superior talent.
E

2008-10-21T22:00:00.000+08:00

Quotes on opportunity:

1) In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity.

2) The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

3) Freedom is not merely the opportunity to do as one pleases; neither is it merely the opportunity to choose between set alternatives. Freedom is, first of all, the chance to formulate the available choices, to argue over them -- and then, the opportunity to choose.
V

2008-10-20T22:00:00.000+08:00

Quotes on optimism:

1) When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.

2) Winning is a habit. Unfortunately, so is losing.

3) The most noteworthy thing about gardeners is that they are always optimistic, always enterprising, and never satisfied. They always look forward to doing something better than they have ever done before.
E

2008-10-19T22:00:00.001+08:00

Quotes on leadership:

1) Leadership can be thought of as a capacity to define oneself to others in a way that clarifies and expands a vision of the future.

2) I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure: which is: Try to please everybody.

3) A leader must have the courage to act against an expert's advice.
R

2008-10-18T22:00:00.001+08:00

Quotes on winning:

1) Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win.

2) It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes short again and again, who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause, who at best knows achievement and who at the worst if he fails at least fails while daring greatly so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.

3) You're not obligated to win. You're obligated to keep trying to do the best you can every day.
O

2008-10-17T22:00:00.000+08:00

Quotes on challenge:

1) When people keep telling you that you can't do a thing, you kind of like to try it.

2) It is surprising what a man can do when he has to, and how little most men will do when they don't have to.

3) You may wonder, 'How can I leave it all behind if I am just coming back to it? How can I make a new beginning if I simply return to the old?' The answer lies in the return. You will not come back to the 'same old thing.' What you return to has changed because you have changed. Your perceptions will be altered. You will not incorporate into the same body, status, or world you left behind. The river has been flowing while you were gone. Now it does not look like the same river.
F

2008-10-16T22:00:00.000+08:00

Quotes on change/ growth:

1) It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.

2) Become a student of change. It is the only thing that will remain constant.

3) The important thing is this: To be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become.
S

2008-10-15T22:00:00.000+08:00

Quotes on friendship:

1) Truth springs from argument amongst friends.

2) There is nothing we like to see so much as the gleam of pleasure in a person's eye when he feels that we have sympathized with him, understood him. At these moments something fine and spiritual passes between two friends. These are the moments worth living.

3) Perhaps the most delightful friendships are those in which there is much agreement, much disputation, and yet more personal liking.
D

2008-10-14T22:00:00.001+08:00

Quotes on trust:

1) A man who doesn't trust himself can never really trust anyone else.

2) The leaders who work most effectively, it seems to me, never say "I." And that's not because they have trained themselves not to say "I." They don't think "I." They think "we"; they think "team." They understand their job to be to make the team function. They accept responsibility and don't sidestep it, but "we" gets the credit. This is what creates trust, what enables you to get the task done.

3) The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when you discover that someone else believes in you and is willing to trust you with a friendship.
N

2008-10-13T22:00:00.001+08:00

Quotes about vision:

1) The most pathetic person in the world is someone who has sight, but has no vision.

2) In life, many thoughts are born in the course of a moment, an hour, a day. Some are dreams, some visions. Often, we are unable to distinguish between them. To some, they are the same; however, not all dreams are visions. Much energy is lost in fanciful dreams that never bear fruit. But visions are messages from the Great Spirit, each for a different purpose in life. Consequently, one person's vision may not be that of another. To have a vision, one must be prepared to receive it, and when it comes, to accept it. Thus when these inner urges become reality, only then can visions be fulfilled. The spiritual side of life knows everyone's heart and who to trust. How could a vision ever be given to someone to harbor if that person could not be trusted to carry it out. The message is simple: commitment precedes vision.

3) The very essence of leadership is that you have to have a vision.
E

2008-10-12T22:00:00.001+08:00

Quotes on time:

1) They say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.

2) Time is a companion that goes with us on a journey. It reminds us to cherish each moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived.

3) There is never enough time to do everything, but there is always enough time to do the most important thing.
I

2008-10-11T22:00:00.001+08:00

Quotes on happiness:

1) You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.

2) We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same.

3) There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.
R

2008-10-10T22:00:00.001+08:00

Quotes on compassion:

1) Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth.

2) A good heart is better than all the heads in the world.

3) I would rather feel compassion than know the meaning of it.
F

2008-10-09T22:00:00.002+08:00

Quotes on success:

1) Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.

2) To laugh often and much;To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others;To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.This is to have succeeded.

3) I know the price of success: dedication, hard work, and an unremitting devotion to the things you want to see happen.
7

2008-10-08T22:00:00.004+08:00

Haha though i might be away..but i'll still update my blog xD

Quotes on giving:

1) We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.

2) Think of giving not as a duty but as a privilege.

3) Giving frees us from the familiar territory of our own needs by opening our mind to the unexplained worlds occupied by the needs of others.

=)
8

2008-10-07T17:19:00.005+08:00

Haha as promised........again xD

Don't ask me who's EP287 and C287 cause i don't know them too. haha the main thing about these 2 pictures isn't the score but the cute scoreboard (: It's crazy how people can finish a whole shaker of cheese with a plate of pasta, just the sight of it makes me wanna puke. Awww >.<

I still can't believe i'm flying off tmr. Sian i will miss so many people, haha i better make sure i won't cry just because i feel homesick -.-

And you! You better eat breakfast everyday especially those you requested for at Giant hor. If they expire, i'm going to kill you when i come back! =p Take care of yourself when i'm gone yeah? 3's my fave number..and you know why! xD
2

2008-10-04T01:42:00.000+08:00

This is getting so screwed, so damn screwed.
I think its gonna go down into history as the worst ever.
And the worse thing is, its not only my results, but also with something ever so important.

To digress a little, i can't believe i'm switching on my laptop at this weird time just to channel my inner turmoil into words. >.<

I know i suck,
I know i haven't been a good friend,
I know i'm being childish, immature,
I know i'm still as impulsive and rash as before,
I know i haven't been putting myself in your shoes,
I know i haven't been a compromising friend,
I know i'm not contented with my lot,
I know i'm not understanding,
I know i'm ____________ (Insert whatever bad adjective here)
Last but not least,
I know i know,
I've disappointed you greatly and plentifully the past week.
I know even a million sorry won't change anything.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
I have a million more ' I know' but guess i won't type them all out here. But no matter what, i still owe you an apology. And i hope a public apology would show you how sincere i am about it. (Though you may think nothing of it) A public apology takes alot of courage cause you never know how many people are viewing my blog while you are reading this right now.

I'm sorry, EP 287. Really sorry.

Just a week ago,
we were all laughs.
A week later,
we are all tears.

I guess it's just me to be so effed up.
But really, all i want is the best for you.
Nothing but the best will do.
And if in doing so, i've caused further problems,
i'm really sorry.

Believe me, we wouldn't just want this friendship to wilt away. Cause any wrong move now can bring about irreversible and permenant damage. Most importantly, it would be a waste to let this affect us so much.

I'm sorry for everything. I really am.

2008-09-30T13:28:00.004+08:00

I know what to do now,
but i ain't sure if i can do it.
This feeling sucks. big time.

I'm tired. I know i'm freaking selfish, but i will change, i know i will. I thought i could get over it, but i realised that i've failed utterly yet again. I'm sick of failing all the time. I guess i blew it again..i gave up without even trying. Thinking back now, i'm such a fool. How the hell could i give up a forest for a tree, when i'm not even sure if the tree would be able to survive the test of time.

'' The moment you get too attached to things, people, money...you screw it up! The challenge of life is to appreciate everything and attach yourself to nothing.'' - Happiness in a nutshell. Haha i've over-stepped my boundaries, though you probably won't realise it cause all these seem so mundane and ordinary as compared to what you've been living up to these years.

I'm spiralling into emptiness and darkness fast,
and before i completely lose myself,
i gotta save my ass -.-

2008-09-26T11:27:00.003+08:00

'' Love and friendship are selfish by nature. And because of one's selfishness, that's precisely why the other party will feel cherished. '' -anonymous

Haha so everyone's selfish in a certain way. Besides, to people that you already cherish, being selfish to make them feel even more so is pretty harmless i guess. But not to the extent that you incur the wrath of others.

Was i wrong to choose what i really like and what i really wanted? "Nah it's not wrong, at least to me cause it's what i really wanted and i feel happier doing it anyway. It's no longer about the company, but whom i feel most comfortable with. I am selfish. period. But at least i know what i'm selfish towards to is definitely worth the while.

I thought i could simply close one eye and pretend that i didn't know what's going on. But bystanders always know best. Yeah, and i know i don't exactly like what i see. On one side, it's complicated. On the other, it's simplicity. And i like simplicity.

It's getting complicatd. Lol but yes you are worth the while. Yes, you. (:

yeah i like GIANT! :D

P.S. Trust me, i'll show you that i can get out of this.

2008-09-25T13:32:00.012+08:00

Exams are....

over,

over!

can you just sense my happiness? hehe its party time~

although it would be party time forever if they dont return the exam papers xD

Yesterday was fun, albeit swimming to celebrate the end of exams may seem a bit weird. but what to do? i'm a weirdo what -.- Headed down to marina square for my long-awaited grilled food! It was nice cooking for you and getting scalded by tiny droplets of oil (: LOL.

The one irritating pin that just didn't want to fall >.<

haha thanks to you, i got my first strike and spare! =)

Thanks for the piglet yeah? My analysis and your actions but but haha give you the credit la.

287 :candice

100%: 0% [K.O.]

Even if you dont manage to retrieve the pictures, it's okay la. Can always take again right? :D Plus, the view was so nice while we were sitting by the river yesterday...so SMILE! (:

The pooh and piglet are best friends now! ( Just like us, hehe =P )

haha satisfied? 3 requests in exchange for 1 eh! i'm nice enough to agree to it though.
=)

2008-09-01T22:13:00.007+08:00

i shall make an exception and blog because of someone (: shall blog about random stuffs..so its not going to be easy trying to figure them out.

whenever decision-making comes along, we just can't seem to to come to a conclusion easily, can we? Not once, not twice, but many times before. Is power really that alluring? Lol. I used to close one eye and tell myself that its just a one-off thing but now it seems like its just the people i guess. I'd rather take a step back and watch the 'show' like always.

haha had a fun time on friday night. thanks for that impromptu meet up (: Sometimes, it's not the place that people go, its not the facilities that counts, but the company. that explains why some would rather spend time with just one or a few people as compared to a large group of people. even when people are in large groups, sooner or later they will still be talking to the people that are closer to them. so i'll say it doesn't make a difference at all to spend time with the people whom you find better company (:

''I'm falling''

''I know you won't fall so easily. But haha even if you do, don't worry, I will catch you when you fall..just like that monkey不倒翁=) ''

thanks for the pooh (: heh it's the biggest of the three of them.

2008-08-25T22:08:00.002+08:00

sudden fetish for old random songs! LOL. i'm showing signs of ageing xD

went to school earlier last saturday to support the std1s-std 3s for intracompt. lol we only got to see benny std 1s doing first aid while the std 2s and 3s did their TOC -.- good job man! they finally broke the benny curse >.< hahaha. i just realised i'm a teacher magnet =p LOL!

i still can't get over it, can i?
how could i have blown it.

2008-08-21T23:33:00.000+08:00

Rawr! Blogger just ate my previous post up -.-

i need some getting used to,
since silence is all i hear and get now.

i should have known better that nothing lasts forever,
and even better, what goes around doesn't necessarily comes around.
Take a step back. Just one huge step and the very reason will surface.

The sun was merely passing by to take the place of those storm clouds that were away for a short breather. In no time at all, they would be back. Ambitions and long term plans may seem a bit too farfetched now, but one day i know, i’ll find a way out of this, to reach the perfect balance i need in my life.
I decided to be gay and went jogging >< lol stupid stitches. As if i wasn’t going through enough emotional turmoil.

Maybe i’m trying too hard, for my own good.
And for my own good, i should stop taking the initiative all the time.
I’m drained, both physically and mentally.
I really am.

Blow it in geography test, blew it in chem test, and finally blown it in math test. I’m such a loser. I bet i would win the title of ‘The Biggest Loser’ easily if i join that American reality show.

Lol sorry if i scared you guys after math ct today. I’m fine now (:
oh, get well soon EP (:

2008-08-16T23:15:00.002+08:00

As promised; aww...don't be sad, i give you sweets xD

for the past few days, i've been doing things that i haven't been doing in a long time. and the feeling's really nice. it's really a privilege to be able to fetch my sister to and fro from tuition, to play with them at the playground, to be able to spend a whole saturday with my siblings and to have dinner with them at our small kiddy table and just share food here and there. It may be one of the rare times we do not quarrel, but the feeling's equally indescribable (:

All we are- One Republic
I tried to paint you a picture, the colors were all wrong
Black and white didn't fit you and all along
You were shaded with patience, your strokes of everything
That I need just to make it and I can see that

Lord knows I've failed you, time and again
But you and me are all right

We won't say our goodbyes
You know it's better that way
We won't break, we won't die
It's just a moment of change
All we are, all we are
Is everything that's right
All we need, all we need
A lover's alibi

I walked a minute in your shoes, they never would've fit
I figured there's nothing to lose, I need to get
Some perspective on these words before I write them down
You're an island and my ship has run aground

Lord knows I'll fail you, time and again
But you and me, we're alright

We won't say our goodbyes
You know it's better that way
We won't break, we won't die
It's just a moment of change
All we are, all we are
Is everything that's right
All we need, all we need
A lover's alibi

Every single day that I can breathe
You changed my philosophy
I'm never gonna let you pass me by

So don't say your goodbyes
You know it's better that way
We won't break, we won't die
It's just a moment of change

So don't say your goodbyes
You know it's better that way
We won't break, we won't die
It's just a moment of change
All we are, all we are
Is everything that's right
All we need, all we need
A lover's alibi

So don't say our goodbyes
You know it's better
We won't break, we won't die

where people have failed, we haven't.
though there were problems, we managed to overcome them.
and im grateful for all the memories.
yeah, we won't say our goodbyes (:

2008-08-14T22:44:00.002+08:00

in a moment of sian-ness, i decided to head over to adryl's mother's shop to spend my time away. lol. but cool eh! 3 meaningful things i did today!
1) i helped out at her mum's shop (:
2) i taught her brother english ((:
3) i help fed a young toddler (((:

haha omg tell me i'm nice xD despite just slacking my time awhile, it's good to relax once in a while and do some good deeds. heh. the feeling's good.

oh, on a side note. today's 2 tests were screwed -.- damn, i'm darn careless. this sucks. for the third successive test, i'm still making careless mistakes even though they ain't a math test. just screw me man. haha.

李老师 said something along these lines today:
朋友是能在你开心的时候，为你感到开心。
在你难过时，也能为你难过的，是值得放在心中的人。
you know what i mean eh? Jiayou with work! =D and 我也会为你感到开心cause i know you can definitely make it! >.<

2008-08-10T23:04:00.004+08:00

Things don't always go the way we want them to be. We don't always get what we want, do we? Especially so, in a competitive society. Luck is never enough to get one through, skills are as essential, if not more important. 'Survival of the fittest'- if you ain't good enough to make it, then don't try or you will break it. Just let the fittest take the lead. Saves time, saves trouble and save finances xD

Even the most modest person would want to excel in at least one aspect. Although they may appear indifferent to any praises on the surface, they definitely feel something inside. LOL i might be lucky in one aspect, but not the other. Same for everyone else out there too. Luck is just so unpredicatable. I can be lucky one day, and unlucky the next.

poor patchy bear. luckily it didn't fall off while someone was speeding xD

haha look! its side view is so cute (: i mean it.

someone loves you! =D

I may be rash and impulsive, but i said before i'll be a good genie to you eh? haha i hope you are happy that we managed to win this, albeit spending abit too much on it >.<

hmm but then again, i really need to be less rash and impulsive. haha and also be less calculative like someone, so i shan't complain about waiting for an hour for a super close and good friend! I mean it and i believe i can do it in a short time. Ready, get set, go! Candice is on her way to be a better person! woots! xD

Appearance VS reality. What if it exists almost every other day? I see it clearly now. Things on the surface are pretty much different from whats really going on. Why can't others sense this weird feeling? or am i just being paranoid and over-sensitive? I ain't feeling the way i should feel. Why do i feel so out of sorts that day? Why do i not feel like talking much these days? The company's right, but i feel wrong. Just why?

寻寻觅觅，我们还是有回到了原点。

2008-08-07T23:30:00.002+08:00

If you had the chance, just one chance, to go back and fix what you did wrong in life, would you take it? And if you did, would you be big enough to stand it?

2008-08-04T21:42:00.002+08:00

''希望越大，失望就越大''
This phrase really holds; and now i know.

I'm sorry I had such high expectations of you,
when i can't even reciprocate equal standards.

I'm sorry I was rash and impulsive.

I'm sorry I was pissed at nothing.

I'm sorry I didn't give you a chance to explain.

I'm sorry I couldn't do anything to relieve the pain you felt.

I'm sorry I was oblivious to the shattering of your heart.

I'm sorry I had doubt in your faith.

I'm sorry we wasted the day away just like that.

I'm sorry I am such a lousy friend.

With utmost sincerity,
I am sorry.

Hello 04/08/08.
Farewell 02/08/08.
You're such a pity.

2008-07-31T23:33:00.004+08:00

150th post!

Some nice pics to commemorate this nice day (:
I never thought i would reach this number of blog posts, but oh look how far how this blog has come! xD

Hmm. Am i down on my luck or am i just plain lucky? HAHA. My leg's in a terrible condition, it hurts, but it doesn't seem to affect me much at all. LOL. Physical pain is never enough to get me down (:

And seeing how much my friends care; by threatening to ignore me if i don't see a doctor, really brings a smile to my face (:

I'd better be contented with the way things are now, cause they really are going fine.

2008-07-27T23:44:00.002+08:00

They say silence between true friends ain't awkward at all. Now i know what it means, and it's really true.

Interclass semis tmr! Go 4H! we kick arses on friday, so we can definitely do the same for tmr! =)

What makes a perfect winning outcome?
chance, luck, and technique.
No chance, can't even attempt to win. No luck, smaller chance of winning. No technique, can't even win.

LOL. lousy post with no substance. sian.

life is so boring. everyday's the same.

one down, how many more to go?

2008-07-25T00:19:00.002+08:00

nothing at all.
i had no idea
when you say
about what was going on.
but what can i do,
you kept mum,
that feeling.
and so did i.
i dont like
what did i do?
was ringing in my ears.
lol.
silence;
i didn't want to;
it didnt seem like it.
but you took
today was better;
us for granted,
i wished
and it ended in flames.

i'm sorry eh? i didnt know a phone call could dampen your spirits this much. Why am i the one always making you upset. Maybe, you should quit investing so much time in me. I'm just an inperfect nobody.

The call- Regina Spektor ( Narnia theme song)
It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word

And then that word grew louder and louder
Till it was a battle cry

I'll come back
When you call me
No need to say goodbye

Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never
Been this way before

All you can do is try to know
Who your friends are
As you head off to the war

Pick a star on the dark horizon
And follow the light

You'll come back
When it's over
No need to say good bye

You'll come back
When it's over
No need to say good bye..

Now we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can't feel it too
Doesn't mean that you have to forget

Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
Till they're before your eyes

You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say good bye

You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say good bye..

2008-07-20T01:38:00.000+08:00

Saturday:
Just today i was at white sands KFC buying supper for my brother. The queue was quite long and i queued for around 10 minutes before i was served. All the working personnel were already rushing as fast as they could i guess. The story goes like this..there was this woman in front of me who forgot to take her drink when she left, so the cashier was trying to call out to her. And damn it, a guy behind me just shouted to the woman to shut up.

Cashier: hello auntie, you forgot to take your drink. Aiyo, how ah? she forgot to take her drink leh.
Man: What the hell! can you shut up! you talk so much, i wait very long already leh! only know how to make noise, dont know how to serve ah. can you hurry up.

I tell you, it was a bloody annoying and sickening voice. And if i could have things my way, i can't wait to turn around and just slap him on the face. The woman's hands were already bleeding from a cut eh. And omg, there were people who joined the queue earlier than him and had waited even longer then him before their turn, who did he think he was hur. I was seriously super pissed lah.

But that was not all, my turn came and then suddenly this hand just stuck out of nowehere and swept all the pricelist and stuffs off the cashier onto the floor. Everyone just turned and look la and i saw the guy who made a din previously storming off. I could swear i saw smoke emitting from his head man -____________- bloody impatient guy eh. If only he could bloody wait a few more seconds, it would have been his turn and he could be enjoying a nice, piping hot KFC meal instead xD

What really pissed me off was his bloody attitude. Like hello sir, you think it's so easy being a cashier huh? Having to juggle between collecting money and serving food. try being one lah! It's definitely not easy money. I wonder if you will ever have a girlfriend. I seriously wonder what you will do to your girlfriend if she's 10 minutes late for the date. I was so so on the verge of just exploding at him but then, i wonder if i will become meatballs though. >.<

Is patience really something so hard to cultivate?

Thursday:
On the way back from tuition, i was happily listening to my mp3 when i saw this guy digging his nose. And so coincidentally, i happened to be adjusting my specs at the same time. And my eyes will naturally open big big whenever i adjust my specs. My gaze met his and he stopped digging his nose and stared back at me. LOL! I immediately turned away but somehow i got this uneasy feeling so i turned to look at him once more. To my horror, he was staring at me non-stop.

Man: O_O
Me: (looks away)
Me: looks at him again
Man: still O_O
Me:(breaking out in cold sweat)
Me: slowly peek at him again
Man: still O_O
Me: (gives up and use the glass to see his reflection
Man: still O_O

woah and he alighted at pasir ris too =/ i wanted him to get off before i got off the train, but somehow he just didnt budge when everyone else were walking out already. I heck and just chionged out of the train, taking the stairs instead. I was practically running as fast as i could la, but thank god he wasn't around anymore. phew. weird people.

once again, i'm back at square one.
trying to convince myself once more.
it's just this one, last time.
i had enough.
there's no point in pursuing things without an end.

that's my new insight! =)

2008-07-15T22:13:00.002+08:00

i never knew..

disappointment could hurt that bad..
yet at the same time,
heal those unseen wounds..
i guess pain is an irony itself >.<

lee lao shi gave everyone in class a quote and i got this:
朋友是被你看透了，但还能喜欢你的人。

it's not that i don't want to,
but the art of contentment,
is easy on the mouth, hard on actions.
talk is cheap.
i wont be contented.
i dont want this day to slip by just like this.

it's a waste. none expected this, but the unexpected always happen (:

那颗树已经慢慢开始掉叶，我的心也随着风飘远。

2008-07-11T00:11:00.002+08:00

hey there!

i'm glad you are still alive;
we still are,
and so is this friendship. (:

sorry if i have been sleeping very late the past few nights/ will be sleeping very late the next few nights. But i guess 288 is worth this small effort and little sacrifice eh? =)

woah, a pretty motivational song!

Hold on- 33 miles
I've been there a thousand times
Felt the rain like a thousand knives and it hurts
I know it hurts

I've been there like a fighter plane
Trying to fly my way through a hurricane and it's hard
I know it's hard

Don't be afraid
You'll make it through
Just call out to me
And I'll come running to you

And hold on, hold on
When the current pulls you under
And your heart beats like thunder
Just give me your hand
And hold on, hold on
Until the storm is over
And I'll be fighting for you
Just give me your hand
And hold on

I'll give you hope, I'll give you faith
And when it's dark, I'll light the way
For you, for you
I'm by your side until the end
Until you're standing tall again
I'm here, I'll always be here

And if the tide sweeps you out to sea
When your strength is gone
And it's hard to believe

Hold on, hold on
When the current pulls you under
And your heart beats like thunder
Just give me your hand
And hold on, hold on
Until the storm is over
And I'll be fighting for you
Just give me your hand
Hold on

Oooohhh
So hold on, hold on
When the current pulls you under
And your heart beats like thunder
Just give me your hand
And hold on, hold on
Until the storm is over
And I'll be fighting for you
Just give me your hand
And hold on
Hold on, oooooooh

2008-07-07T00:05:00.003+08:00

candice, you just suck.
yes, you SUCK.

you just wield the sledge hammer;
you just killed someone.

i'm sorry.

2008-07-06T21:56:00.007+08:00

The first time i'm touching a cat (: paiseh to make you wait for this substance-less post ><

it's really once a week -.-

You threw me 20, 000 leagues under the sea.
Will there be a day for you to hear what i have to say?
No.
Cause i drowned the day you first brought me out to sea.

person A: ''you are just receptive to your surroundings.''
person C: '' overly-receptive, you mean.''

Stitch: ''i'm using my ears to cover my eyes. My eyes may hurt, but at least your heart won't''

why should i be sad when you aren't.
it's unfair.
what seems to be disappointing to me, seems like nothing to you.
nothing at all.

Now that simin mentions it, how long has it been since i last flashed a BIG BIG, true smile?
I can't remember.

Song feast!

exerpt from 'easier to run-linkin park'
It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone

Sometimes I think of letting go and never looking back
And never moving forward so there'd never be a past

exerpt from 'numb-linkin park'
Tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me

Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you

exerpt from' my immortal- evanescence'
I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

exerpt from 'mary jane- the click five'
Whatever happened to our innocence
And the somethin' that
you said about being friends
Tell me how
Help me say the words out loud

Could it be
That nothings gonna change
Time has got a way of taking back
Everything you thought you had

I need to wake up from
this state of mind
The situation is the same kind
I gotta get your memory out of my head

exerpt from ' disenchated- my chemical romance'
And when the lights all went out
We watched our lives on the screen
I hate the ending myself
But it started with an alright scene

exerpt from '听海-张惠妹'
听海哭的声音
叹惜著谁又被伤了心却还不清醒
一定不是我至少我很冷静
可是泪水就连泪水也都不相信

写封信给我就当最后约定
说你在离开我的时候是怎样的心情

exerpt from '知足-五月天'
當一陣風吹來　
風箏飛上天空為了
你而祈禱　而祝福　而感動
終於你身影　消失在人海盡頭
才發現　笑著哭　最痛

知足的快樂　叫我忍受心痛

exerpt from 'it's not over- secondhand serenade'
My tears run down like razorblades
And no, I'm not the one to blame
It's you ' or is it me?
And all the words we never say
Come out and now we're all ashamed
And there's no sense in playing games
When you've done all you can do

But now it's over, it's over, why is it over?
We had the chance to make it
Now it's over, it's over, it can't be over
I wish that I could take it back
But it's over

2008-06-30T00:44:00.004+08:00

hmm maybe i should start the one post per week campaign, since my life's like so mundane -.-

eat-sleep late- oversleep- school- project/ tuition- home- eat- comp/ homework- sleep late....yada yada and the cycle just repeats itself again.

Had CIP yesterday morning. The plans were kinda screwed up but still, thanks fang ting for all you effort and good job cause it's your first time doing planning! :D I think our class has too many leaders and that's how problems arise, i guess.

After CIP was LA project at wonka's house. Decided to head to ECP cause it's like just opposite her house. in the end, i walked a super long way there cause i thought it was a short-cut -___- I picked seashells there for a purpose..but guess what? i dropped all the seashells that i picked when i answered a phone call. i thought i had placed them in a plastic bag but seems like i aimed wrongly and all my seashells were gone. Gone. GOne. GONe. GONE. they were worth 45 minutes of my time ><

If i were to see it symbolically, then it means that this _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ is gone too. I continued picking up brand new seashells for another half an hour. Just when i thought all hope was lost, i somehow managed to stumble upon the spot that i dropped all my seashells at. Woah i was o.O cause its simply amazing how i managed to walk the length of the beach to the exact spot that i dropped the seashells. If i were to see it symbolically again, then it would mean that this _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ can be salvaged too. And in fact, it would be better than before. But, that's only if i were to see things symbolically eh?

Audrey was shocked when i told her i had this hobby of collecting seashells since i was a kid >< She said that this hobby isn't emo but the process of collecting seashells is emo..hmm maybe i had this emo streak in me since young but it only activated itself last year xD ahaha! sounds cool huh?

Suddenly, i realised that all the dates are gone cause my laptop has just undergone operation reformat (I) -.-

Oh. and i thought i shall be nice and increase the font size in case it strains your eyes (:

Maybe all this is predestined;
maybe we weren't meant to be.
Just reading those emails,
is enough to send me back to hell.

2008-06-28T01:08:00.001+08:00

Just felt like posting this song lyrics. Somewhat like my exact mood.

虽然我愿意
请让我靠近你轻轻对你说
别让我每个夜为你受折磨
是多么不容易才默默放手

为了我就当作这次为了我
别让我因为你被回忆折磨
而空气凝结了我们的脸孔
我别无选择

就算我们之间有什么问题
依然想念着你
虽然被放弃
虽然我愿意

就算我们之间有什么难题
黑夜我还想着你
心碎人孤寂
虽然我愿意(心还想着你)

再让我靠近你轻轻对你说
当我说我要你从此好好过
是真的否则我怎么肯放手

为了我就当作这次为了我
赐给我你现在幸福的笑容
别让恨冻结了我们的脸孔
请你做选择

2008-06-28T00:02:00.002+08:00

能依靠一个人，
或有人当依靠，
是件幸福的事。

但过度依赖，
却痛苦万分。

最悲哀的是，
那人并不知，
你那么痛苦。

I tend to see things rationally and logically this time around, everything's in place though. In a bid for salvation, i searched hard within but it fails me. There's really not a loophole in sight. Why does my heart still hurts when my words are the exact opposite.

Being a substitute/ replacement has never been easy. I put in so much, but what do i get at the end of the day? A substitute's still a substitute, it can never substitute the intended x. The x that's meant to be, and will always be. Never.

It's the end of a road, facing a fork in the road, where would you head? Continue to suffer in silence or stand up and express yourself but risk losing it all. Grah! I hate how soft-hearted i am!

Something's wrong; but nothing's really wrong. I doubt you remember this. But only now, do i feel it's applicable in its own abstract way.

Chanced upon this quote on a std 1's msn name: ''True friends never stick together, they just experience more things together.'' hmm..struck a thought in me but i'm going to keep mum. It's a wonder i actually agree with this statement -.-

You'll never, ever know how much i've done. Do you? Will you ever know?

2008-06-25T01:01:00.002+08:00

I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.

=)

wth. i twisted my neck today and now it aches whenever i turn my head -__-

i ruined my seh image today >< omg im such a blur pok!

A random convo:
my family was on the train back from some place. there's this random condom advertisement in the mrt. It shows 2 diff brands of condom and they were on both ends of the banana to compare the thickness.

sister: jie jie, what's a condom arh?
me: err esk daddy. he will know better.
dad: *eyes open wide*
sis: daddy, whats a condom?
dad:huh it's made of plastic.
sis: nono. mummy, whats a condom used for?
mummy: *mouth opens wide*
mummy: omg. err err it's something that man use?
sis: they use it for what?
me: aiya no la, mummy and daddy bluff you. *points to the advertisement* No la, it's used to wrap around bananas to prevent fruit flies xD

commuters on the train starts giggling while my whole family burst into laughter >.<

HAHA. kids are so naive but cute ^^ see, such advertisements shouldnt be on public transport esp with lil kids around. It's bad for developement xD I only knew what a condom was nearing end of sec 2 -.-

LOL. the time now..i'd rather not say it out.

2008-06-22T00:33:00.002+08:00

Why is it when it is not even my problem, I get hurt?
Why can't i just pretend that i know nothing; nothing at all?
Why am i such a loser? -.-
Why can't i be cold-hearted?

It's really as empty as it seems. When your heart is overloaded with sadness, misery..it's funny what you can do.
i smile, i laugh, i joke..but nobody knows what's going on inside.

Sometimes, it gets so tiring to always put up that strong front.
Why can't i put it down for once?
Just once; can i?

i can't. Not when you are already down.

Everyone has to choose a path that he/her will follow through to the end. Each path leads to his/her wishes or dreams. I choose this path to prove that there's nothing for me at the end. HAHA my dream is nothingness.

to whom it may concern:
1) ''Just don't give up trying to do what you really want to do. ''
2) ''The essence of human is that one does not seek perfection. ''
3) ''I believe there's an inner power that makes winners or losers. And the winners are the ones who really listen to the truth of their hearts. ''

It took me darn long to find them.

2008-06-20T00:21:00.006+08:00

All it takes is the moving of fingers, followed by a 'click' and the line goes off. The beeping sounds in my ear, and i know it's over. I may be sad; i am crushed, but i'm not weak; it won't kill me.

This pain is real. It always hurt to be the one giving all the time. Or do i not see how hard you are trying? Is the smile real?

After CIP.

LOOK! my hair isn't that long xD

i'm just a foolish little girl.
am i just thinking too much? or is this really what i see before me.

2008-06-19T21:25:00.009+08:00

Another secondhand serenade song today >.<

It's not over
My tears run down like razorblades
And no, I'm not the one to blame
It's you, or is it me?
And all the words we never say
Come out and now we're all ashamed
And there's no sense in playing games
When you've done all you can do

But now it's over, it's over, why is it over?
We had the chance to make it
Now it's over, it's over, it can't be over
I wish that I could take it back
But it's over

I lose myself in all these fights
I lose my sense of wrong and right
I cry, I cry
It's shaking from the pain that's in my head
I just wanna crawl into my bed
And throw away the life I led
But I won't let it die, but I won't let it die

But it's over, it's over, why is it over?
We had the chance to make it
Now it's over, it's over, it can't be over
I wish that I could take it back

I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart
Don't say this won't last forever
You're breaking my heart, you're breaking my heart
Don't tell me that we will never be together
We could be, over and over
We could be, forever

I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart
Don't say this won't last forever
You're breaking my heart, you're breaking my heart
Don't tell me that we will never be together
We could be, over and over
We could be, forever

It's not over, it's not over, it's never over
Unless you let it take you
It's not over, it's not over, it's not over
Unless you let it break you
It's not over

It's not over, everything has just begun.

Sian. this must be the first time i'm dreading school this much.

Tell me,
what im doing is right;
that this is the right choice;
that nothing's left behind.
I really cant tell where i'm heading.
I shouldnt be feeling this way,
but i can't change the way things are now.

2008-06-18T22:15:00.002+08:00

I've been listening to secondhand serende songs recently. The songs are nice, but maybe a tat too similar. haha. I really enjoyed giving you a small amount of my time too =)

I can't believe i'm doing this;
it has gotten better,
but i'm not over it.

I lose my sense of wrong or right.

This wound has healed,
but the scar feels so familiar.

I hate this song
Speak with your tongue tied,
I know that you're tired
But I just want to know,
Where you want to go,
I may be sad, But I'm not weak,
This situation is bleak
And you puffy eyes never lie,
Your tears come from inside.

Until someday I'll be waiting for an answer
I guess that yesterday's not good enough for you,
You know that I hate this song,
You know that I hate this song
Because it was written for you

Drown your fears with me
I'm feeling real sorry
Your glossy eyes don't need
The sadness they have seen
But you're way too deep to swim
Back up again
But somehow I can't find
The moment you said goodbye

Until someday I'll be waiting for an answer
I guess that yesterday's not good enough for you,
You know that I hate this song,
You know that I hate this song
Because it was written for you

This is becoming a problem I'm hurting it's unfair
But somehow your words,
The way that I heard are haunting me,
You're under my skin
You're breaking in,
And the tasteless fights that filled our nights
Are starting to cave in,
You're under my skin
You're breaking in
And if Sundays what it takes to prove
I have nothing else to lose

Until someday I'll be waiting for an answer
I guess that yesterday's not good enough for you,
You know that I hate this song,
You know that I hate this song
Because it was written for you

2008-06-15T23:04:00.002+08:00

went cycling at east coast park yesterday. managed to cycle the whole length of ecp alone. it's strange how i felt so carefree while being alone. it got to the extent that i almost collided into a little kid cause i was too engrossed in thoughts ><

cycled past the area where we had our std 2 squad outing with mam xinying's batch of instructors >< lol. and some memories just came rushing back to my mind. Stopped by 287s' hideout too, but try as i could, i couldn't find the ppb. heh. codeword..you wont understand unless you are a 287! xD I shall bring a shovel the next time...

i realise i have my doubts over quotes. Not every quote is as true as it seems.

Distance makes the heart grow fonder; is this really true?

it's equally amazing how we can play around with quotes.

Nobody is perfect; i am nobody.
Nothing is impossible; some people do nothing everyday.

xD

it aint as bad as it seems. i believe it will get better. with renewed faith, hope is all i have (:
do you get it? (:

2008-06-12T01:01:00.004+08:00

[edit]
damn. i have so much on my mind, why can't i seem to type them out.

tell me what's wrong with me;
i just lost something;

i lost it once before, and i innocently thought i could find it back. Oh, how innocent i am. But well, i'm wrong, it's not the same anymore. No matter how much or how hard i try, the feeling's still different. sigh. Dont tell me it's really over.

& i'm losing faith. You don't have to complement me and give up too. Maybe, just maybe, it's a passing phase that we have yet to overcome.

'We don't need to go that far' 'how far is far?'
'Let's hold on to where we are' 'teach me how.'
'If this is real,' 'i can't feel it'
'We'll make it through.' 'sorry, i'm stuck.'
''As they say don't waste your time' 'i start to realise'
'They are obviously blind' 'i used to think it's true'
'We don't need the world right now' 'but you need one;'
'We've got time to work it out' 'left with seconds'
'Hold on tight, i'll hold on to' 'that's the past'
'Don't give up just yet' 'can i; will i?'

I swear that requires aboslutely no decoding. like real.

[Did the leave depart because the wind courted her or because the tree didn't ask her to stay?]

[The fish told the water: ''You can't feel my tears because i'm in the water'']

More to come; i don't know,
Even more to overcome; i'm sure i see a mountain.

This feeling's killing me; but i'll wear a smile on my face. (:

2008-06-09T14:35:00.003+08:00

This must be my first time doing such quizzes. lol so you better feel super honoured, the one who tagged me! xD

1. Do you wish to get married?
Hmm of course, but in the future i guess.

2. What do you want the most now?
Genuine happiness.

3. Who is the person you trust most?
Myself? xD

4. Do you have enough confidence?
Depends on the situation i guess.

5. If you can have a dream come true, what would it be?
O.o i have no idea. I think my life's pretty cool now :D

6. Are you satisfied with yourself?
Yup. i'm 知足! =)

7. What are you afraid to lose?
My family, friends..and my true self? ><

8. Do you believe in fate? When was the most happy moments of your life?
Yup i believe in fate, definitely. When i was really contented with whatever i had and whatever i've gone through.

9. What would you do if HE/SHE hugged you?
err LOL. hug him back? -.-

10. Who do you wish to see now?
my family, standard ones, squadmates, EP 287 =P

11. What kind of people do you hate?
people who lie, betray and backstab others :/

12. Have you experienced fate before?
Yes, i guess. 287! (:

13. Do you trust in every friendship of yours?
Yeah..in a way, i'm really gulliable ><

14. Do you treasure your family?
hmm..what a retarded question. of course i do haha!

15. What is the most important thing in your life?
family, friends..things and people that i cherish.

16. What do you regret most in your life?
LOL. a couple of sad stuffs, but i have no intentions of listing them out xD

17. Who do you hope to be always there for you?
My family and friends la..

18. Be honest to yourself and tell yourself who you truly are. I do mean this in a negative way.
Hmm..i can be pretty stubborn at times but i ain't someone who can be mean la ><

19. What kind of best friends do you hope to be in your friend's eye?
Someone loyal, nice, caring and always able to provide a listening ear :D

20. Pick one friend whom you wish to be best friends with.
Anybody that i can click with? haha >.<

i shall be nice and not poke anyone to do this quiz. hehe xD

OMG this is my second blog post in a day! woohoo! (:

CPR is at my house now!

2008-06-09T11:56:00.001+08:00

Woohoo i'm cool! xD

2008-06-07T22:55:00.004+08:00

went to pulau ubinl lol -.- initially it was raining and was considering other plans. but oh well, it's still pulau ubin.

It was fun cycling under the rain on gravel tracks. The pitter-patter of raindrops hanging by your ears..the screeching of bicycle wheels against the rough surface. Sounds cool huh? xD did i mention this is my first time stepping on pulau ubin soil? LOL.

Had seafood for dinner! crabs, lobsters, prawns, mussels..do i have to continue my list? haha i guess better not ah or you will start drooling anytime soon =p

wanted to pick up seashells but i ended up finding a starfish! xD Okay, it's kinda small as compared to me in the picture. haha!

/guess i'm abit too high today;

but are you sure its real?

can't help feeling how i feel now.

but im glad;

cause it's back on track.

i hope.

2008-06-05T23:51:00.002+08:00

Hehe kinda lazy to blog about alc and pop. As usual, i ain't someone who goes into details when it comes to camps and whatnots. Sorry to those who were eager to read my views on the camp. In general, it was boring la but i dont think it's right to compare this year's alc to previous years cause circumstances are different. lol.

She knew what she wanted;
it wasn't all that difficult.
She had regrets aplenty,
but none took her down.
She was a stubborn little girl;
and always went ahead with her fears.

The battle between good and evil.
The mass wanted justice to prevail;
this little girl wanted to see just the opposite.
But she knew she could do nothing;
to affect the outcome of the battle.
It was down to .....

Everything seems clearer now. lol emo over POP really does cloud judgement.It's a real wonder how much difference time can do.

Please mean what you say. I don't like what i'm seeing. Everyone's changing their mind so soon. Luckily i'm still standing firm, but i guess not for long. It's still waiting for me; my choice.

歌曲：知足
怎么去拥有一道彩虹
怎么去拥抱一夏天的风
天上的星星笑地上的人
总是不能懂不能觉得足够
如果爱上上你的笑容
要怎么收藏要怎么拥有
如果你快乐不是为我
会不会放手其实才是拥有
当一阵风吹来风筝飞上天空
为了你而祈祷而祝福而感动
终于你身影消失在人海尽头
才发现笑着哭最痛
那天你和我那个山丘
那样的唱着那一年的歌
那样的回忆那么足够
足够我天天都品尝着寂寞
如果你快乐再不是为我
知足的快乐叫我忍受心痛

lol. 我学会什么是知足，你呢？
我也知足了，你呢？

2008-05-25T23:55:00.003+08:00

I'm officially a big girl now; 16 years and a day old -.-

Thanks for all the well-wishes cos they kept my phone rining all day long.
Thanks for those who put in so much effort just to see me smile.
Thanks for all the memories; regardless of who you are.

Thanks for the suay lunch xD
Thanks for the drunk night (:
Thanks for the trip home; you really didn't have to waste your time on me ><

Thank you, everyone.

I must stop being such an emotional wreck!

2008-05-24T00:45:00.002+08:00

things ain't that bad afterall eh?

i've got so much on my mind, but i put it off time and again for fear of losing this friendship.

maybe it wasn't how we envisioned things to be; things pretty much dont turn out the way we want them to be.

I ain't a perfect friend, nor a perfect person. Forgive me for all the wrong i've done.

With whatever emotions i can muster up now, thanks a bunch and i'm sorry.

=) my heart's bleeding, but you can't see it.

2008-05-17T14:08:00.003+08:00

Disappointment; dis-apppointment.
I can feel the seconds ticking away, far beyond my reach.
I can't change the way things are now, it's far too late.
I can only change the way i lead my life from now on.

I'm sorry.
For the way things turn out;
For the depressing letters;
For upsetting the normal routine;
For being such an idiot.
I didn't expect for this either.

Starts with goodbye
I was sitting on my doorstep,
I hung up the phone and it fell out of my hand,
But I knew I had to do it,
And he wouldn't understand,
So hard to see myself without him,
I felt a piece of my heart break,
But when you're standing at a crossroad,
There's a choice you gotta make.

[Chorus:]
I guess it's gonna have to hurt,
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,
And let go of some things I've loved,
To get to the other side,
I guess it's gonna break me down,
Like falling when you try to fly,
It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye.

I know there's a blue horizon,
Somewhere up ahead, just waiting for me,
Getting there means leaving things behind,
Sometimes life's so bitter sweet.

[Chorus:]
I guess it's gonna have to hurt,
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,
And let go of some things I've loved,
To get to the other side,
I guess it's gonna break me down,
Like falling when you try to fly,
It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye.

Time, time heals,
The wounds that you feel,
Somehow, right now.

[Chorus:]
I guess it's gonna have to hurt,
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,
And let go of some things I've loved,
To get to the other side,
I guess it's gonna break me down,
Like falling when you try to fly,
It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye,
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,
And let go of some things I've loved,
To get to the other side,
Starts with goodbye,
The only way you try to find,
Moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye.

There's no stopping now, look ahead.
What do you see?
A crossroad i see.
Once the first step is taken, there's no turning back.
Make a decision your heart wants.

level camp was AWESOME! Although it wasn't as fun as a cca camp, but still, level camp taught me many things. It showed me the different perspectives of a matter, the worse and best in people, how self-sacrifice is worth the extra bit of effort.

But..appearance VS reality.
I know not which is true.
but, benefit of the doubt will do just fine (:

[4H]eaven's sake lah
early morning, late at night,
4H charges out to fight.
All united, act as one.
We will win the war this time!
=)

2008-05-12T00:00:00.002+08:00

I'm back again, with no reason no rhyme. haha >< I realised that i keep seeing repeated timings like 11.11 pm; 4.44pm, 10.10am etc. I swear it's unplanned for but the moment i flip open my phone, the times flashes beautifully before me. Does this mean anything? Hmm..

Trust me, when i say i dont want to.
Trust me, when i say i will keep to my promise.

But..

Dont trust me, when i say i'm feeling good.
Dont trust me, when i say everything's alright.
Dont trust me, when i say i no longer care.
Dont trust me, when i say it doesnt hurt.

It's not over tonight,
Just give me one more chance to make it right.

The weight of things that remained unspoken;
Built up so much it crushed me everyday.

I have so much more that i want to say, will i ever have the chance to?

2008-05-11T13:11:00.004+08:00

RULES:
1. Put Your iTunes, Windows Media Player, ETC on Shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name.
5. Put this on your journal.

1. If someone says, "Is this okay?" You say?
At the beginning- Anastasia OST
( 'And life is a road I wanna keep going' Of course i'm okay la!)

2. How would you describe yourself?
All i have to give- Backstreets Boy
( Hmm..that sounds true)

3. What do you like in a guy/girl?
我难过- 5566
( Lol! i'll be sad when i like someone)

4. How do you feel today?
I miss you- Stairway to heaven OST
( I think i missed my tv show today -_-)

5. What is your life's purpose?
Mary Jane- Click 5
(Cause time has taken back everything I thought we had, that's life for you i guess?)

6. What is your motto?
Long way to go- Click 5
( Yup, there's still a long way to go and each day will be better than the previous! (: )

7. What do your friends think of you?
Why do i love you- Westlife
( o.O why do they love me? cos' i'm nice! xD )

8. What do you think of your parents?
冻结- JJ Lin
( Freeze them as they are now? )

9. What do you think about very often?
How to save a life- The Fray
( haha. more like how to change the lives of people around me..)

10. What is 2 + 2?
原点- 5566
( 2 + 2 = the beginning?)

11. What do you think of your best friend?
Kiss the rain- Yiruma
( Coincidentally, my best friend introduced this song to me >< )

12. What do you think of the person you like?
I want it that way-Backstreet Boys
( I want him that way? i swear my media player was on shuffle xD )

13. What is your life story?
Apologize- Timbaland feat. One Republic
( Lol, i'm such a well-mannered person! =P )

14. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Jenny- Click 5
( Who's jenny)

15. What do you think of when you see the person you like?
As long as you love me- Backstreet Boys
( I swear this was on shuffle too >< )

16. What will you dance to at your wedding?
Reflection- Christina Aguilera
( Emo wedding xD )

17. What will they play at your funeral?
The great escape- Boys like girls
( 'Throw it away, forget yesterday, we'll make the great escape! yeah. )

18. What is your hobby/interest?
轨迹- Jay Chou
( What's gui ji? My hobby is to emo? )

19. What is your biggest fear?
无可救药- 品冠
( Yup, the worse thing is to be unable to do anything to change yourself )

20. What is your biggest secret?
100 years- Five for fighting
( Let me tell you my secret, i'm 100 years old! =P )

21. What do you think of your friends?
Perfect-Simple Plan
( *nods head* they are PERFECT! )

22. What will you post this as?
小情歌- Soda Green
( i don't get this -.-)

level camp is just less than 24 hours away >< i'm going make the best out of it! haha afterall, i'm still going to be dirty, so i might as well laugh and smile my way through! =D

Yesterday had to be the most enjoyable and relaxing day of my life. It's been eons ago since i last felt so happy, with nothing on my mind. i can't express my gratitude here though..but from the bottom of my heart, thanks for everything! =)

2008-05-05T23:54:00.004+08:00

shucks. i think i don't know how to manage my time wisely ><
I shouldn't be hanging around here at this time, when i should be doing so many other things -____- candice, stop slacking and do something!

i wonder,
have i made a change?
can i still do something more?
what if;
that fatal blow wasn't delivered?
would i still be this cruel?

what if;
what ifs;
would they make a difference?
have we made a difference?

i've been trying my best;
i can't determine how well i've fared,
or was those really my best.
but it doesn't seem like it to me.

time's running out,
for you,
for me, for them.
I wanna do something,
before im left with just split seconds.

Sacrifice is nothing.

They don't kill.

They tire nothing but the physical being.

for good; 2 words, but yet i can derive 3 meanings. is this what they mean by crossroads?

much loved, std 1s'2008